Better than Your Textbooks!

God answers prayers in some very strange ways sometimes... Who ever would have thought that the answers to my problems would be presented in my stress management class? I sure as heck didn't. But, I'm feeling better about life in general now, thanks to that class.

The whole class was about stress and spirituality. This was a rather interesting topic. I had no idea that we would discuss the spiritual health of our souls in any college class. But I was glad we did. Spirituality and religion are completely different subjects, although spirituality can be expressed through religion. I know some of my friends and I have talked about this before, but I didn't realize that someone had written a whole entire chapter in a psychology book about it.

One point I found rather interesting, but I am also skeptical about it, is a study that someone did where they showed the affects of words on ice crystals. It was strange, not gonna lie. And I'm still pretty skeptical about this effect, but I wonder if it's true. In the experiment, positive affirmation statements created beautiful crystals, whereas negative statements created less attractive crystals. They also studied the affects of music and got similar results. So, I don't know exactly what to think about this study....

I definitely believe in the effects of words and music on the soul. I believe that mental and psychological issues cause just as much stress and take just as much energy as physical issues. Researchers have started doing studies that indicate that the amount of glycogen in the brain decreases with mental stress (such as willpower, traumatic situations, etc.). This goes to show that mental and psychological issues really do take energy from people. It's a rather interesting study, if you ever care to research or write about something in psychology.

Another topic we looked at in class was spiritual healing. We looked quite a bit at forgiveness. Here's a concept I never considered before. Forgiveness is only for oneself. Keeping in anger, aggression, and hatred hurts only whoever is holding the grudge. The person who did the wrong never knows about the anger, the built up tension. It only matters to the person who either can't forgive or is trying to forgive. So, that was a good study. Something worth knowing, even for someone who isn't a psychology major.

Well, if you cared enough to read this, I'd really appreciate to know what you think. If you have views, it might be fun to discuss them. Anyways, I doubt anyone will actually do that, so I hope you enjoyed reading! It's better than a textbook, right?

Disappointment? Life? Lack of sleep?

Do you ever get in that, "I hate life" mood? I'm not quite there yet, but that's where my mood is surely headed. Hopefully I can turn that around by doing productive work. I need to focus on school... and church. Stop worrying about the little problems in life. Because that's all they are, little problem. Simple things I shouldn't worry nor care about, but I do.

I need to find a way to change. To learn to cope better with stressful events in my life. Any suggestions? Well, I probably wouldn't follow any advice even if it was given to me.

I'm tired. Probably should go to sleep, but I doubt I'll be able to sleep very much tonight. Too many things on my mind to think about. Oh well, at least getting offline will help me figure things out. Hopefully.

Trivial Stress

I should be writing or reading for my classes right now. Thank goodness I'm done with my tests this weekend! One tomorrow, then I don't have another one until next thursday! Phew... relief. So, I get to write 3 papers this weekend. One, I'm supposed to write an analysis of this paper I need to read about fMRI's. It's not coming along very well since I barely understand the paper that I'm supposed to be writing about. One of my other papers is about stress and the affects it can have on one of the physiological systems in the body. I might post them once I'm done, but I most definitely want to post my last one. I'm way excited to write my last paper. It's a ten page research paper, and I'm doing it about mid-adulthood dating. I can't wait to start writing it!

Ya, I have an exciting life, I know.

So, school is really stressing me out. I think I need a break, but it seems every time I try to take a break, I have something else I need to get done. Well, I guess that's life, eh? I think I got so stressed that it broke down my immune system. This is a good guess, since I do not feel very good and can't seem to concentrate. It's funny though, because I used to cope with stress relatively easily. I did my work to perfection, and would spend hours reading or writing for class. I can't do that anymore and I'm not really sure why. I'm ready for this semester to be over already - the pace is too fast for me right now and I just need to slow down.

I don't think anyone actually reads these so I feel safe writing this. I'm scared. I put myself completely out there recently, and I'm not sure what's going to happen now. I didn't necessarily want to get put in this position, but I am and I don't want to get hurt, although I know that's practically inevitable. That's one of my biggest fears: getting hurt by others. I'm physically pain tolerant, but when it comes to my emotions, I don't know how to handle disappointment well. Have you ever felt that you're pursuing a lost cause? I don't know if that's true or not. I don't want this to be a lost cause, but I'm pretty sure it already is one. It hurts me to know this.

I was warned though, numerous times. I should've listened, but I guess I'm just too stubborn. I like to get my way, and a lot of the time, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. Determination: I used to like being known as a determined person, but now, I don't know if that's a good trait. It's scary what goes on in my mind. Most people would be shocked to know all of the things I think about. Even those people who think they know me really don't know who I am. They may know a few things, but I've never opened up to anyone completely before. I feel as if I want to though, and I already know who I'm going to tell.

Back to the real world. Have you ever listened to "Never gonna leave this bed" by Maroon 5? If not, you should go listen to it. it's quite an amazing song and makes me feel happy. I rather quite like Misery as well. Oxymoronic, yes?

I need to get back to school soon... Bleh. I really don't want to endure 6 more hours tonight! Then I get the lovely opportunity to study for neuroscience... yay. George Strait and Chris Ledoux are amazing. Just thought I'd point that out for those of you who do not already know I think this.

Most of my paragraphs start with I... Hmm... that's interesting. I must change this next time. But for now, I really don't care. Can you tell I'm just loving life?

I Just Need to Rant

So much for my happy moods. Have you ever felt like life just kicks you when you're down? Well, that's basically been my day today. I was excited to start the day. Ready for my statistics and development classes. I was going to make it a good day, but everything just seemed to be going wrong. I couldn't concentrate on homework because my house was too noisy. I tried to relax a little by playing piano, and I guess that was good. I just have way too many thoughts on my mind, and I don't have any way to release them because if I did, people would probably question my sanity.

Oh, I also didn't get the car I've been trying to get for the past week. I went over, and a guy came in with cash and got it instead. So, that's disappointing.

One of my friends came to me with a difficult problem, and I tried to help comfort her, so we went to the temple. That was nice, peaceful, and helped me clear my head a little bit. It was funny; we somehow got on the topic of couples and marriage and whatnot (I guess it's because we were at the temple or something), and were sitting out front when this guy leads his blindfolded girlfriend over to the front and proposes to her! I felt way awkward, so we left and chose another place to sit. It was interesting.

Before I left for the temple, I had this crazy insane headache. It's back again. I couldn't read my textbooks, and was going to take a nap. That didn't work. I read instead, and got an even worse headache. This is what hours of class all day can do to you. So, I have a bunch to read tomorrow. Thank goodness labor day weekend is soon. I really need to catch up with everything (already...).

Why does life have to be so stressful and complicated?

I just realized this today, but I'm making decisions right now that are going to affect the rest of my life. It really took a toll on me and I just thought about it for a minute. What do I really want out of life? I can't postpone these decisions much longer, so when should I make them? Now? Tomorrow? I don't have all the details, so how can I make the best decision for me? Gah! Can to you tell I'm completely overwhelemed.

Hopefully tomorrow brings a better day. In my mood right now though, I highly doubt that tomorrow will be any good. Maybe I'm lacking sleep. I know I'm lacking socialization that I've been depending on for a long time. I really need to find something that makes me happy. I'm usually pretty good at this (or at least at faking it), but recently, not so much. I'm tired, don't feel good, and can't seem to open up. What next?

Goodness, I need some sleep. Very badly. Maybe it'll cure some of the stress in my mind. Blogger, thank you for letting me rant. It was a good chat.

Organizing Everything

My biggest pet peeves:
Not knowing vital information about people, places, or things in which I am interested.
People not shutting the door behind them when they leave or enter a room.
Others keeping secrets from me.
Little things that I notice are out of place, like a pen or pencil on my dresser instead of desk.

I'm sure you just loved hearing those little things I think are a nuisance. Yeah, they frustrate me quite easily. I've noticed I get frustrated very easily... maybe I should relax a little bit. Heh, as if that'll happen.

I feel like a different person today. I know I'm still me, but my thoughts are weird and I keep having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something's wrong. Maybe I just need some sleep or learn how to better manage my stresses in life.

For those who do not know me well, I am usually not a hopeless romantic. I wish I was moreso in a way, but emotions tend to get put behind reality in my mind. So, when I have emotions come through, they are usually quite strong.

Something's changing in me. I don't know what it is, but I suddenly have this need to want something more. I want to be helped. I need the understanding and commitment that I've never wanted before. It's strange for me to open up like this, especially where everyone can see it if they want to. But, I need close friendship. I really need to connect with someone in a way that I never have before. I wanna love somebody! (Wow... I never quote songs or movies either, yet, there's proof right before your eyes!)

So, to conclude, I am a difficult person with strange annoyances. Yes, I know this is not an essay and I can end whenever I choose without a conclusion, but I felt the need to include one in here. Emotions sometimes seem like a foreign language to me. I need help interpreting them but once I've got it, hopefully I can survive in that world. Romance and opening up are difficult for me to do, so, this truly is quite the post for me. On top of that, I actually quoted something. Here's another quote. Yeah, I think that's it.

Life Stresses and Disappointments

Life is stressful. Most people know this... I guess I just got the memo. I thought being independent (to an extent) and getting my own life would help me with dealing with the stresses of life. It definitely has. I've had lots of stressful times, and I know that nothing will ever compare to some of those. But now, I'm just stressed about life in general. I need to find a job, I need to start making money, I need to get a car, I need to go to school, I need to read my textbooks, I need to do well. Why can't I just do what I want to... I want to be happy. I don't want to be stressed out. Is that really too much to ask?

Why do I keep having these weird moods where I'm so down and depressing to talk to. I'm not me. I am, but I'm not. Make sense? Is this all just a part of growing up? I thought I'd be happy to be back in school. To be busy. To live my life. But, I'm not. I thought keeping close friends around all the time would help me. I have amazing friends and family and relatives. I don't know why I'm not happy. I don't have any reason to be disappointed with my life. Happiness is part choice, part circumstance. My circumstances are good, so maybe I just need to choose to be happy. I think I'll try that tomorrow. That should solve everything, hopefully.