My Not So Secret Obsession

As I was writing this blog, I realized I may be a little obsessed with school and psychology... bear with me, or don't... either way, it doesn't matter much to me. Writing is a good way to study for tests (in case you were wondering).

Wow. I am really loving my classes. Recently, I wrote a paper for behavioral neuroscience about the effects of meditation on the chemistry and neuronal connections within the brain. It was a pretty epic paper, if I do say so myself. It's too long to post though, and besides, I doubt anyone else would find meditative effects as interesting as I find them. Basic point: meditation changes the chemical release of cortisol, reduces stress, improves the immune system, and activates regions of the brain that are directly tied to the attention networks and pathways, etc., etc., etc. Yes, I'm awesome, I know. Maybe sarcastic fits better...

Social psychology is by far my favorite class though. We're learning about cognitive dissonance theory right now, and it makes complete sense. The jist of the theory is that when people do something contrary to their beliefs, they feel psychological tension (otherwise known as dissonance). This, in turn, causes the person to reflect on their "self" to either change the behavior, attitude about the behavior, or rationalize the behavior. It's amazing what we can tell ourselves to feel better about doing something contrary to our beliefs. We lie to ourselves quite often, I've realized. And we usually don't even realize it! It's a coping mechanism, and it does wonders to our mind and how we think about life and others.

Everyone has cognitive dissonance at some point in their life. I was thinking of putting examples up, but I'll pass on that. I'm sure you can think of them yourself... if you really even care... In fact, if you read this far, I'm shocked.

You should take social psychology; especially if you want to learn a ton about yourself - why you think how you think, why you do what you do, to find your true self. There are plenty of other ways to learn about oneself, but this class has shown me so many different techniques and theories that I am starting to put everything together.

Psychology in general is just a bunch of theories bundled together to make sense of human behavior. I love it! I know of no other person who gets as excited about class as do I. Kinda scary actually...

Anyways, that is about all I wish to share. Live life to the fullest, laugh as if there's no tomorrow, and love like there's no end. Well, there is an end (sort of), but don't worry about it.

The End <-- (see, here it is.)

Procrastinating a Paper

Procrastination. I never thought I'd get so much done while trying to put off writing this paper. I vacuumed my house, went to the store, learned a new song, actually went to the gym, and read an article. Eh, I guess that's not really a ton, but it was more than I'd planned on doing today. Go figure.

This paper is going to drive me crazy I believe... Oh, wait.... I forgot, I kinda got to crazy 3 years ago. Success Academy. Tons of homework. No free time. Yep. Let's just say I am dreading writing it.

Actually, I don't mind writing the paper. It's the research and analyzing the information that I don't care to do. You try reading 4 articles discussing the effects of meditation on neural functioning; 'tis not enjoyable. So, instead of reading all the articles that I should read, I'm just going to write this. I'll read tomorrow, then I'll write my paper, then I can relax this weekend... maybe...

Most likely I'll keep putting this paper off until I absolutely must write it. Procrastination is a required skill for college students. I'm not just saying that - it really is true. No matter what college students do, they always must procrastinate some form of homework, reading, writing, social activity, etc. If I tried to do everything I wanted or needed to do when I wanted or needed to do it, I would never sleep. I'd always be overlapping tasks. Therefore, procrastination is essential to survival in college (and life). Enough said.

Have I ever said that my kitty is the most adorable, sweet, affectionate cat I've ever had? He is, and he is attached to me, and he likes to be carried around like a baby, and I love him - he's adorable and makes me happy. And, I'm terrible at staying on one subject the whole time. I'm also pretty terrible at ending these blogs.

Haha, let's not end just yet. I'm only beginning to procrastinate writing this paper. I'm going to take an idea from Dacy and post my pet peeves. Here it goes:
1. When someone doesn't close the door. I hate open doors, literally.
2. When items are not put in their proper place.
3. Disorganization - enough said.
4. When people don't shut up even though they have nothing intellectual to say anymore.
5. When someone calls me out on my mistakes in public; I know I make them, you don't need to let the rest of the world know as well.
6. When anyone says they'll be "right back" and then take forever to get back. Or when they say they'll do something and it never gets done.
7. When people make drama out of nothing.
These all make me rather upset.
That's all I can think of right now...

Random fact: I'm scared of opening those canned biscuit things. You know, the pillsbury or grands ones that you stick in your fridge. I get very anxious when I have to make them, and almost always jump if they pop open on me. It's ridiculous, I know, yet it still makes my heart race.

So, I should stop procrastinating...




Tomorrow.

Rambling and Whatnot

My fall break schedule: write a 3-5 page paper, start researching for my 10 page paper, read a little bit, catch up on sleep, relax, download music. In that order. Exciting, no?

So, I took two tests today. I studied for one for hours upon hours. The other, I didn't really work hard to study for it, and it definitely showed in my grade. Thank goodness one test score drops. My behavioral neuroscience class is not nearly as difficult as I had presumably thought it would. In fact, I aced my test for that class today. It was too easy...

Anyone want to write a paper for me? I really do not want to write this weekend. Not a research paper at least.

Today was good though. My class had an intense discussion in institute at 9 this morning, but I only remember a little bit about it. We were in Moses 7 in the Pearl of Great Price, and we got on the topic of faith - what it is, and the power that it has, all that jazz... Blew my mind. I wish I could record these discussions and come back to listen to them later when I'm actually awake and thinking correctly.

This guy in my class and I usually discuss these topics as we leave the building. He always has interesting insights and questions in class. I'm fascinated by the things that people wonder, and once the question is said, I start wondering the same thing. Coincidence? No... This is another thing I've learned in institute: there are not coincidences, only miracles God doesn't get credit for. I love that quote now!

I probably shouldn't write here as often and instead write more for class and whatnot. Yes, I believe I have rambled enough for one night.

Pointless Post

I have a new love: New Age music, preferrably piano classics. I've been listening to them all afternoon, and they are considerably lightening my spirits. I always knew that I loved playing piano classics, but I never thought I'd love listening to them this much. I would love to get all of this sheet music someday. Hopefully I'll learn some new songs soon. Honesty by New Age Piano Masters is one of my favorites right now.

Well, my life is pretty uneventful. This blog has no point, basically. I should actually be studying for a couple of tests that I have before fall break, but I decided I will study tomorrow instead. I've done enough homework today, and it's late so I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyways.

Life's full of ups and downs I have realized. One moment may seem like nothing will work, and the next, life is full of bliss and joy. Let's see... that explains my life perfectly. I think most other teenage girls will agree with me on this. Maybe even the whole population. I dunno. I can't speak for anyone besides myself. I prefer not to make rash judgments... but somehow, I end up making them all of the time. Let this not be one of those times.

This has been a pointless post. I hope you enjoy reading about nothing... in fact, I'll actually be shocked if anyone reads this. For the record, I have enjoyed writing it. And, that's all.

One More Lie

One moment bliss
The next, despair
This train wreck called
Life stills the air

The hope once strong
Has left my soul
Starving for answers
In pain, I mull

Life gets better
That's our lie.
All alone in my room
I yell and cry

The need for peace
Is nigh, but grim.
A search for truth
lies within.

The lullaby of lies
Rocks a baby to sleep
Yet those lies to truth
One day we will reap

Perhaps there is more
Than can truly be seen
Life lives reason.
What will mine mean?

Rain and School

A realization just hit me. I have a rather boring life. Day to day, I usually go to school, maybe talk with some friends or watch tv, play piano, do tons of homework, facebook, blog, and sleep. Wake up, and repeat. Wow... Yet, I love my life. It's perfect for me right now. I would like to have more excitement sometimes, but I think tests, friends, and school in general cause me enough anxiety and stress. Why throw in new stressors on top of all of that?

Making connections with people is difficult. I don't know how I ever managed through the social life in school, especially getting put in such a new environment in high school - one where I didn't know anyone. I'm really glad I chose to do Success Academy though. I finally realize how much further ahead I am than all of my friends. I don't have to waste my time taking classes I don't want to take. Instead, I get to take classes that I love and that really interest me. If upper division classes are this great, I can't wait until grad school! Hopefully I'm not speaking too soon.

Rain is a good thing. That song is very interesting... but I'm actually talking about the rain we've been having here in St. George. I'm loving the rain and hope it continues all week long! After my class today, I walked really slowly through the rain. I didn't care if I got soaked; I was enjoying the weather far too much. This was probably not the best idea, considering I had quite a ways to walk and almost froze. Advice: don't walk in the rain unless you have a jacket on or an umbrella at least. Thankfully my truck heats up relatively quickly.

Well, that's about it in my boring life. Come back soon to waste another 2 minutes of your time!

Dreams & Music

I had the weirdest dream last night. For some reason, I was in a pool that was just deep enough that I couldn't touch the bottom and I was playing water basketball. Strange, I know. I knew some people there. A few friends and this one lady from a class at school. Every time I got the ball, I would start sinking and I couldn't move as fast as usual. I dunno... I think my mind's a pretty messed up place. Maybe that's why I'm not so afraid at looking into other people's minds. I'm pretty sure not many are as strange as mine.

Artists I'm in love with at the moment: Love and Theft, Keith Urban (obviously), Nickelback, Daughtry, Maroon 5, David Cook, Bryan Adams, Lady Antebellum, and Lonestar. I'm just as surprised as you are that over half of these aren't country. I did not realize that there was so much good music out there!

I've decided to create a homework playlist too. It has new-pop-classical piano songs on it. I'm hoping this will help me concentrate better. If not, then at least I'll get a new taste of music, right?

Reading has become one of my least favorite things to do. I used to stay home on friday and saturday nights to read a book. Now, I don't even want to pick one up. Textbooks have ruined this for me. I don't want to spend my time reading them or any other book for that matter. Sometimes I don't mind, but that's only if it's for two classes... the other 3, I dislike a lot. Two of those classes are interesting, but the textbook is badly written. The other one, I love the teacher, lectures aren't too bad, but I'm not really interested in the physical components of psychology, so it's not enjoyable for me to study for that class.

I went and looked up what my dream meant earlier. Supposedly water symbolizes some thought in my unconscious wanting to come out... the struggling symbolizes that I have some sort of inner conflict that I'm making a bigger deal of than I should... the basketball symbolizes teamwork and that I may need to ask for help with current problems... and friends symbolize that I think relationships are important in learning about myself and that I need to lean on those friends more. I'm still skeptical about dream interpretations, but I found this interesting, nonetheless.

Why is it that I'm so interested in learning about how my mind works? Is it because I want to learn how other minds work as well? Or is it some sort of self-discovery process? I dunno... I guess I'll just go with it and not question anything for the time being.

Astrology and Zodiac Stuff

Astrology has never really been my thing. I've always thought it was a little ridiculous, but enjoyed reading horoscopes or something like that. Well, the other day, I took this zodiac sign quiz thing, and the results were pretty accurate. I was surprised. I'm not going to put everything up here, but one statement really stuck out to me. "You can see every step in the road before you take it. You're so good at getting what you want that you make the game more challenging by raising the stakes." Me? Yes.

After I looked at this report, I decided to look into the zodiac stuff a little bit more. Not that I believe in it. My life is not determined by where the stars are aligned at all. But, I enjoy seeing the similarities between my life and what astrology reports say. Supposedly, I'm confident, ambitious, loyal, generous, encouraging, pretentious, domineering, melodramatic, stubborn, and vain. I think those fit pretty accurately, for the most part. Some moreso than others.

I'm almost ready to fall asleep here. I woke up at 4:30 this morning, and I only had an hour nap this afternoon... So that's... almost 20 hours awake? maybe? Idk... I'm really tired. How about I stop writing before I make a fool of myself. Yes, I like that idea.

Oh, by the way, the marathon was amazing! There were so many runners this year, and I got a bunch of pictures. They're all up on facebook, big surprise.

Jaron and the Long Road to Love, Psychology, Marathon

Jaron and the Long Road to Love. So far, it's not that long of a road. I love them already! The lead singer has an amazing voice, and I think I have a new favorite break out artist. He'll definitely get bigger as time goes on, I hope. The song "I hope you hit traffic" is really good.

Tonight I went to the psychology program opening social. I had a good time, met some new people, and hopefully will get more involved with the psychology club after this. Just so you know, my psychology professors are the best. They're all very intelligent, and most of them are really good teachers.

Dixie's homecoming centennial ball is next week... I'm deciding whether I want to go or not. I'd rather go with someone if I went, but I doubt that will happen.

I have just decided. I'm not really an optimist. I think I'm far more a realist. One of my teachers put it this way: the optimist sees the glass half full, the pessimist sees the glass half empty, and the realist sees a glass with water in it.

Keith Urban always makes me feel better. "I'll be over you and on with my life. So take your records, take your freedom. Take your memory I don't need em. Take your space and all your reasons... In fact I'll feel a whole lot better... You'll think of me."

I'm loving having music back on my computer :) It makes me feel so much better knowing I can choose what I want to listen to. I need music. It's always been something that's a type of healing therapy to me. Piano, listening to certain genres when I'm in certain moods... I think everyone does that though.

Wow... I must be tired... And I get to wake up at 4 tomorrow morning! ....Yay? At least its for a good cause. I love volunteering at the marathon. Every year, I always meet some awesome person that needs help or just stops to talk for a moment. Some people travel so far to come to the marathon too. I can't imagine travelling that far to go running.

It's crazy. Life's insane. And I'm feeling good about everything now. Finally.