Seeing the Light in a Cold & Dreary World

I can think of a million things I should be doing right now. Test tomorrow to study for, reading my textbook, folding my clothes, practicing my guitar... well, maybe not a million things, but at least 4 things I should do but choose to not do. The reason I am not: I don't feel like it. If I've learned anything recently, it's that if you don't feel like doing something, then don't do it. Why should I submit myself to meaningless things that will barely affect the rest of my life? I can get an A or a B in my classes, and the only people who really care are myself and whichever school I apply to for grad school. That's it! So why do I obsess over learning so much?

Actually, I really enjoy learning. Just not really up to studying right now. I want to do something; be active; go to movies; take pictures with friends; go dancing; have fun while I'm still young enough not to care. But I do care. I care what impression I make on others, which is good in a way, but can be a real pain sometimes. I can barely start a conversation with someone anymore... unless I know them well, but that's different.

I got on here mostly to say that today has been very unproductive for me. I stayed at home all day, thanks to this lovely cold that seems to be going around. The most I accomplished was watching a lot of tv and becoming bored out of my mind. Dang, I am so sick of being sick! I had awesome plans for tonight. I was going to study for my abnormal psych test (which I still don't really like), then I was going to make dinenr, then me and some friends were going to go country dancing, but it will have to wait until some other time, sadly.

Hmmph... life is... unpredictable. I think that is the best word choice I can think of right now. I never know what to expect, and even when I think I have things figured out, something happens that makes me question my expectations. Then I get frustrated because I realize I don't have as much control over the situations in my life as I had once thought. It's not that bad though. Actually, it's more... eye-opening. I get to see reality for once instead of living in my comfort zone all the time. Perhaps this is meant to prepare me for other situations that will be encountered in my lifetime. Who knows...

Life does not suck. We all will die someday. But, even though being torn down and kicked to the curb can be tiresome and feel like the end of the world is coming, it really isn't. I can't wait until one day when I look back at my life and realize that the things I thought were so big were actually simple tests that I either passed or failed. And no matter what, I can choose to learn with every trial that I face. If you have read this far, I hope you will feel the same way too. No matter how bad life can become, there is always something to look forward to, always someone to love, and always a new day to be lived.

This just reminded me of a quote by Mother Teresa (whom I greatly admire). It says: If you judge people, you have no time to love them. I don't know why this thought came to me, but I think we can, not only apply this to others, but to ourselves as well. If we judge ourselves, if we don't realize that mistakes can really just be mistakes; if we judge so much that we can't forgive ourselves or others for what they have done... then we truly can't come to love them. Acceptance is the key to happiness. Accept yourself, then accept others. Learn to love, trust, and give.

Writing this blog just put me in a much better mood. I sincerely hope that you can feel happier if you finished this because it's probably the only blog post I've written in a long time that's even close to worth reading. In my Yoga class, we normally end with a short mantra that goes like this:
"May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide your way on."

The Art of Procrastination: Part One

Have you ever had those dreams where you're not asleep, yet not fully awake? Well, let me just tell you, they suck. I really wish I could either just sleep or just wake up, especially when the dream is semi-creepy-ish... It was about this really stupid demon-possession-exorcist movie, The Rite, which wasn't even that creepy. I wouldn't recommend it.

That's not what I got on here to write though. Actually, now that I think about it, I am not quite sure what I really wanted to write... Something about being excited for my research paper, yet not knowing exactly how I want to format it... yeah, that's kinda boring. Actually, I'm kinda boring.

Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to read this blog, if anyone does. If you do, props to you. Honestly, I wouldn't read it if I didn't write it. You want to know what I just realized? I have very different voice when I'm writing casually as compared to when I'm writing for school or something like that. Hmmm... that's probably not very odd.

Oh yes, now I remember what I was going to write. The Art of Procrastination, 101. Hold on to your socks, because this is going to be one epic essay/story/blog entry...

The Art of Procrastination
Part One: A Tool Most Essential
Procrastination is an essential tool required for college students. You can find it in Aisle 2 right next to that textbook you buy but never open. It can also be found right before and after the party, any night before a test, and under your pillow (or under your bed, depending on your personality).

This "tool" is quite simple to use (haha, I almost put "you" instead of " use" right there... that would be weird though). First, you have to find it. If you can't find it, you create it out of thin air. It's quite simple to create procrastination. You simply open your computer, go to google, and type in "Where is Chuck Norris" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky." Then, you laugh and show it to all of your friends because it is epic. Other ways have been proposed to create procrastination, but this is one of my favorites.

Once you find or create procrastination, the instructions are quite self-explanatory. Open, use, save for later. It's as simple as that! Now you want to go try it, am I right? Of course you do, everyone loves procrastination!

Ok, I know this is starting to get out of hand, so I think I'm just going to finish this some other time, maybe when I'm not so tired... If any of this made sense, I applaud you for reading it. Maybe Part Two will continue in my next post. Who knows though... so, until next time.