I Just Need to Rant

So much for my happy moods. Have you ever felt like life just kicks you when you're down? Well, that's basically been my day today. I was excited to start the day. Ready for my statistics and development classes. I was going to make it a good day, but everything just seemed to be going wrong. I couldn't concentrate on homework because my house was too noisy. I tried to relax a little by playing piano, and I guess that was good. I just have way too many thoughts on my mind, and I don't have any way to release them because if I did, people would probably question my sanity.

Oh, I also didn't get the car I've been trying to get for the past week. I went over, and a guy came in with cash and got it instead. So, that's disappointing.

One of my friends came to me with a difficult problem, and I tried to help comfort her, so we went to the temple. That was nice, peaceful, and helped me clear my head a little bit. It was funny; we somehow got on the topic of couples and marriage and whatnot (I guess it's because we were at the temple or something), and were sitting out front when this guy leads his blindfolded girlfriend over to the front and proposes to her! I felt way awkward, so we left and chose another place to sit. It was interesting.

Before I left for the temple, I had this crazy insane headache. It's back again. I couldn't read my textbooks, and was going to take a nap. That didn't work. I read instead, and got an even worse headache. This is what hours of class all day can do to you. So, I have a bunch to read tomorrow. Thank goodness labor day weekend is soon. I really need to catch up with everything (already...).

Why does life have to be so stressful and complicated?

I just realized this today, but I'm making decisions right now that are going to affect the rest of my life. It really took a toll on me and I just thought about it for a minute. What do I really want out of life? I can't postpone these decisions much longer, so when should I make them? Now? Tomorrow? I don't have all the details, so how can I make the best decision for me? Gah! Can to you tell I'm completely overwhelemed.

Hopefully tomorrow brings a better day. In my mood right now though, I highly doubt that tomorrow will be any good. Maybe I'm lacking sleep. I know I'm lacking socialization that I've been depending on for a long time. I really need to find something that makes me happy. I'm usually pretty good at this (or at least at faking it), but recently, not so much. I'm tired, don't feel good, and can't seem to open up. What next?

Goodness, I need some sleep. Very badly. Maybe it'll cure some of the stress in my mind. Blogger, thank you for letting me rant. It was a good chat.

A Change of Pace...

Today has been quite the day. My little cousin, Conlan, came over to swim and I found out he’s terrified of water. At first he wouldn’t even get off the steps, then he finally decided to get on the “boat.” Caitlyn and I were sharks and alligators, and he chased us and splashed us to turn us “nice.” It was a pretty fun game. I haven’t had that much fun in the pool for a couple of weeks.

But that’s not the reason I wanted to write this post. Last night, I went for a walk around the temple grounds - it was amazing. I haven’t felt that much peace and comfort in a long time, and I knew that, somehow, everything would work out. My life has been in a mess the past few months, even years. I didn't really know where I was going, what I was doing, and who I was. I lost myself. But last night, I felt an immense peace settle over me. I haven't felt that way in a long time, and it was such a great feeling. I have a lot of things I need to change, I know that. I need to find myself again. I need to be truly happy. I thought I was happy, but I forgot what true happiness felt like. I re-experienced that last night. For anyone who is reading this, the temple is the most amazing place in the world. There is no other way to gain happiness without God in your life.

Change of subject. I just found out that I cannot text and talk at the same time. It's impossible. For all of those people who can accomplish this great task, I applaud you. I notice that I can't listen to music and read at the same time either. I'm sure you were just dying to hear all of this about me. It must be some sort of mental thing. I can't multitask when I am using the same part of my brain for two different tasks; it's almost impossible!

This is a very random post for me. I usually know what I want to talk about, but I have so many things I want to say. Recently, I had a fortune cookie that said, "A long lost friend will soon return in your life," or something like that. My fortune came true! My friend, Sarah, is coming down here for college for the next couple years. I just found it funny (ironic maybe?) that a fortune cookie and my real life correspong (is that the right word?) with each other.

Random assortment of ideas, I know... But, read it you want, comment if you will, and keep yourself entertained, even if it is by reading my little blog post. Those are my words of advice.