Trivial Stress

I should be writing or reading for my classes right now. Thank goodness I'm done with my tests this weekend! One tomorrow, then I don't have another one until next thursday! Phew... relief. So, I get to write 3 papers this weekend. One, I'm supposed to write an analysis of this paper I need to read about fMRI's. It's not coming along very well since I barely understand the paper that I'm supposed to be writing about. One of my other papers is about stress and the affects it can have on one of the physiological systems in the body. I might post them once I'm done, but I most definitely want to post my last one. I'm way excited to write my last paper. It's a ten page research paper, and I'm doing it about mid-adulthood dating. I can't wait to start writing it!

Ya, I have an exciting life, I know.

So, school is really stressing me out. I think I need a break, but it seems every time I try to take a break, I have something else I need to get done. Well, I guess that's life, eh? I think I got so stressed that it broke down my immune system. This is a good guess, since I do not feel very good and can't seem to concentrate. It's funny though, because I used to cope with stress relatively easily. I did my work to perfection, and would spend hours reading or writing for class. I can't do that anymore and I'm not really sure why. I'm ready for this semester to be over already - the pace is too fast for me right now and I just need to slow down.

I don't think anyone actually reads these so I feel safe writing this. I'm scared. I put myself completely out there recently, and I'm not sure what's going to happen now. I didn't necessarily want to get put in this position, but I am and I don't want to get hurt, although I know that's practically inevitable. That's one of my biggest fears: getting hurt by others. I'm physically pain tolerant, but when it comes to my emotions, I don't know how to handle disappointment well. Have you ever felt that you're pursuing a lost cause? I don't know if that's true or not. I don't want this to be a lost cause, but I'm pretty sure it already is one. It hurts me to know this.

I was warned though, numerous times. I should've listened, but I guess I'm just too stubborn. I like to get my way, and a lot of the time, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. Determination: I used to like being known as a determined person, but now, I don't know if that's a good trait. It's scary what goes on in my mind. Most people would be shocked to know all of the things I think about. Even those people who think they know me really don't know who I am. They may know a few things, but I've never opened up to anyone completely before. I feel as if I want to though, and I already know who I'm going to tell.

Back to the real world. Have you ever listened to "Never gonna leave this bed" by Maroon 5? If not, you should go listen to it. it's quite an amazing song and makes me feel happy. I rather quite like Misery as well. Oxymoronic, yes?

I need to get back to school soon... Bleh. I really don't want to endure 6 more hours tonight! Then I get the lovely opportunity to study for neuroscience... yay. George Strait and Chris Ledoux are amazing. Just thought I'd point that out for those of you who do not already know I think this.

Most of my paragraphs start with I... Hmm... that's interesting. I must change this next time. But for now, I really don't care. Can you tell I'm just loving life?