My Not So Secret Obsession

As I was writing this blog, I realized I may be a little obsessed with school and psychology... bear with me, or don't... either way, it doesn't matter much to me. Writing is a good way to study for tests (in case you were wondering).

Wow. I am really loving my classes. Recently, I wrote a paper for behavioral neuroscience about the effects of meditation on the chemistry and neuronal connections within the brain. It was a pretty epic paper, if I do say so myself. It's too long to post though, and besides, I doubt anyone else would find meditative effects as interesting as I find them. Basic point: meditation changes the chemical release of cortisol, reduces stress, improves the immune system, and activates regions of the brain that are directly tied to the attention networks and pathways, etc., etc., etc. Yes, I'm awesome, I know. Maybe sarcastic fits better...

Social psychology is by far my favorite class though. We're learning about cognitive dissonance theory right now, and it makes complete sense. The jist of the theory is that when people do something contrary to their beliefs, they feel psychological tension (otherwise known as dissonance). This, in turn, causes the person to reflect on their "self" to either change the behavior, attitude about the behavior, or rationalize the behavior. It's amazing what we can tell ourselves to feel better about doing something contrary to our beliefs. We lie to ourselves quite often, I've realized. And we usually don't even realize it! It's a coping mechanism, and it does wonders to our mind and how we think about life and others.

Everyone has cognitive dissonance at some point in their life. I was thinking of putting examples up, but I'll pass on that. I'm sure you can think of them yourself... if you really even care... In fact, if you read this far, I'm shocked.

You should take social psychology; especially if you want to learn a ton about yourself - why you think how you think, why you do what you do, to find your true self. There are plenty of other ways to learn about oneself, but this class has shown me so many different techniques and theories that I am starting to put everything together.

Psychology in general is just a bunch of theories bundled together to make sense of human behavior. I love it! I know of no other person who gets as excited about class as do I. Kinda scary actually...

Anyways, that is about all I wish to share. Live life to the fullest, laugh as if there's no tomorrow, and love like there's no end. Well, there is an end (sort of), but don't worry about it.

The End <-- (see, here it is.)

Procrastinating a Paper

Procrastination. I never thought I'd get so much done while trying to put off writing this paper. I vacuumed my house, went to the store, learned a new song, actually went to the gym, and read an article. Eh, I guess that's not really a ton, but it was more than I'd planned on doing today. Go figure.

This paper is going to drive me crazy I believe... Oh, wait.... I forgot, I kinda got to crazy 3 years ago. Success Academy. Tons of homework. No free time. Yep. Let's just say I am dreading writing it.

Actually, I don't mind writing the paper. It's the research and analyzing the information that I don't care to do. You try reading 4 articles discussing the effects of meditation on neural functioning; 'tis not enjoyable. So, instead of reading all the articles that I should read, I'm just going to write this. I'll read tomorrow, then I'll write my paper, then I can relax this weekend... maybe...

Most likely I'll keep putting this paper off until I absolutely must write it. Procrastination is a required skill for college students. I'm not just saying that - it really is true. No matter what college students do, they always must procrastinate some form of homework, reading, writing, social activity, etc. If I tried to do everything I wanted or needed to do when I wanted or needed to do it, I would never sleep. I'd always be overlapping tasks. Therefore, procrastination is essential to survival in college (and life). Enough said.

Have I ever said that my kitty is the most adorable, sweet, affectionate cat I've ever had? He is, and he is attached to me, and he likes to be carried around like a baby, and I love him - he's adorable and makes me happy. And, I'm terrible at staying on one subject the whole time. I'm also pretty terrible at ending these blogs.

Haha, let's not end just yet. I'm only beginning to procrastinate writing this paper. I'm going to take an idea from Dacy and post my pet peeves. Here it goes:
1. When someone doesn't close the door. I hate open doors, literally.
2. When items are not put in their proper place.
3. Disorganization - enough said.
4. When people don't shut up even though they have nothing intellectual to say anymore.
5. When someone calls me out on my mistakes in public; I know I make them, you don't need to let the rest of the world know as well.
6. When anyone says they'll be "right back" and then take forever to get back. Or when they say they'll do something and it never gets done.
7. When people make drama out of nothing.
These all make me rather upset.
That's all I can think of right now...

Random fact: I'm scared of opening those canned biscuit things. You know, the pillsbury or grands ones that you stick in your fridge. I get very anxious when I have to make them, and almost always jump if they pop open on me. It's ridiculous, I know, yet it still makes my heart race.

So, I should stop procrastinating...




Tomorrow.

Decisions of the Future

Funny experience just barely. So, I went to go type www.blogspot.com in the bar at the top of the page, but I accidentally type www.blotspot.com, and there's actually a website called that! I have no idea what's on that website, nor did I stay to look at it, but I thought it was interesting.

To my real point of writing this post. Well, actually, I have no point at the moment. I'm just tired of homework and school. I get to write a research paper! Most people wouldn't be excited for this, but I just picked my topic, and I think it will be very interesting. Ten pages about widowhood and dating. I'm stoked!

Now, change of subject... I wish things were easy. That it wasn't so difficult to make these decisions. I want everything in my life to turn out right, but I don't know how I can make that happen. I'm... not sure if I'm even on the right path. But, I must be because I'm here right now. I don't know nor do I want to think about it too much at the moment. I have more pressing matters weighing on my mind.

I really miss how my life was. I had such great friends (I still do, but half of them are gone), I was always excited for school, there was not reason for me to worry about the future because I knew that I didn't need to for a few more years. Well, the years have come and gone. In all honesty, I'm terrified. I have never been comfortable with the unknown, and now, that's all I seem to be dealing with. It comes up in my dreams, I think about the future all the time, and as hard as I try to live in the present, the past and future keep coming to mind. One of my favorite quotes, "Remember the past, live in the present, & fear not the future for it never exists and never shall. There is only now." I wish I could actually believe that. I wish that all my worries would just go away, or that I could find a better way to deal with them. I wish I wasn't so insecure...

Why do emotions ruin my senses? I think I know everything I want, but then my emotions toy with my realistic thinking. I don't know how much longer I can stand it. But, I know some way or another, I'll get through everything. I just hope it's sooner than later.

Eh, I'm sorry if this made absolutely no sense to you. Make assumptions if you wish, but I'm not going into more detail. Vaguity... no, this is not a word, but it describes my writing of this night. That is all.