Some Julius Caesar Satire

This was the final project for my English 0990 class during sophomore year. Me and a friend decided to create a newspaper, and this is one of my favorite articles. We wrote about Rome, Julius Caesar, politics, and other odd bits of information. This piece is "written" the day after the death of Julius Caesar and is meant to be satirical. If anyone actually reads this, enjoy! And please comment...

Well-known throughout the city, Brutus was a loving friend to Julius Caesar. Just before the funeral, he gave me (the reporter) all of the inside information between the relationship with him and Caesar, and the reasoning for the killing of his most dearly beloved friend. According to Brutus, "Julius Caesar was a great man, yet he needed to die for he was ambitious. Many of us Senators decided to lessen his worries of the next twenty years by giving him peace of mind right now. We did not hurt Caesar, quite the contrary. We saved him from himself, and we saved him from Rome. Had he not died now, he would have dealt with the worry about dying for years to come. Alas, never think this a wrongdoing, yet a deed unto a great and noble friend. He was a snake waiting to crack out of his shell and conquer all of Rome." As we well know, Brutus and all of the other conspirators were driven out of town yesterday, so there is no need to hide the truth. Honorable Brutus was just trying to save his friend from the suffering and misery of a lifetime. Maybe if we were all honorable friends like Brutus and killed everybody, nobody would ever have to suffer on this earth. Oh gods, rest poor Caesar's soul!